Dwell

It all happened so quickly, this pandemic. Life changed overnight, it seems, although we could see it coming to a certain extent. But nothing really prepared me for the range of emotions I would feel; joy that I had seemingly unlimited time with my little one after a lot of separation last year, frustration that all of my productivity seemed to come to a snail pace, sadness for those who are experiencing grief, loss, and sickness, longing for time with friends, gratefulness for my little family, thankfulness for technology so that I can still talk to those I love, and anger that this virus is taking so much. I think we are all feeling these emotions, but the most recent one I've been dealing with is FEAR. 

I think a lot of us are dealing with fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of getting sick (my current worry...I have asthma). Fear of running out of money. Fear of running out of food. Fear of a loved one getting sick. Fear of losing someone/something you love. Fear of [fill in the blank].

I've been doing my best to turn to Jesus through all of this, although I still sometimes have freak-out moments...I'm human. He's put me through smaller trials to build my faith throughout my life, all leading to this. He has never failed me and even if my fears come true, He is with me even then. I heard someone once say that fear of the future is us forgetting that God will be with us in those days just like He is today. A good reminder.

I've been meditating on Psalm 91 daily. It talks about how God is with you and that He will protect you. It even talks about how He will protect you from pestilence (uh...I definitely want protection from COVID-19). 

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. (Psalm 91:3, underline mine)

But He says that you need to dwell with Him to receive that protection:

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him

    and show him my salvation.”

Psalm 91:9-16 (underlining mine)

The truth is that sometimes I dwell in Facebook. Sometimes I dwell in the news. Sometimes I dwell in the fact that my child went accident-free one day and had 2 accidents within 15 minutes of each other while I was on a conference call (potty training is not fun guys). And I've definitely been dwelling in fear.

I write this as a reminder to myself. After a small breakdown, I knew I needed to figure out how to dwell in the shelter of God. I needed tangible actions. So, I deleted the Facebook app off of my phone because the scrolling, the sad stories, and the anger were getting to me. I've created a worship playlist that reminds me of the goodness of God. I've made a choice to allow John to do our necessary errands instead of me because I'm more at-risk. And the peace has returned (for the most part). Figure out what you need to do to dwell in the shelter of the Most High and do that, because God is good, He does good, and He has a good plan for your life. It's promised.

Oh, and stay home and wash your hands. God prefers that we use the common sense He gave us.